Huge, Quickly

It is my sincere wish that everyone stop talking about Tiger Woods & start focusing on more important things, like the Jersey Shore on MTV. Now these are people worth discussing. Their behavior may be questionable, but it is honest. They aren't hiding their "transgressions", just the opposite in fact. Proudly they are pounding their protein, poofing their hair, & fist pumpin' like champs. If you haven't done so yet, tune in immediately. You gotta do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Alright. Bye.

The Big Cheese

The holidays are officially in full swing. Of course in LA there is no snow or cold to indicate the arrival of the season, but I teared up at a Folgers Christmas commercial & it hit me like a ton of bricks. For a single person, well for this single person it is an awful time of year. For some reason I feel 10 times more alone. I blame the music primarily. All the songs are something like "all i want for Christmas is you, please come home or I'll get run over by a reindeer." Why doesn't Kelly Clarkson release a holiday album? Something like "Independent Christmas." Until that drops, I think I will stick to the Chipmunks singing about planes that loop the loop & hula hoops.

Noel & I enjoyed a lovely dinner at the Olive Garden this evening. Some might consider me a high maintenance patron but our waiter Mike understood me. He broke policy by leaving the cheese grater on the table, it's like he could see my Romano hungry soul. Personally I think his arm was tired & he had other tables to tend to, but still the grater was mine for the meal. At the end of dinner, Mike wrapped up the grater in a bread bag with a wink. Delighted I slipped it in my purse. I really have earned it after all these years I think. In fact it is a mystery as to why I don't have a plaque on the wall, & a personal parking space.

Ambien is kicking in, when that happens I am like Frank the Tank from Old School when he gets the tranquilizer dart in his neck. Not cute--night lambs. Big love.

Victory--Indefinitely, Not Probably

Finally!

After weeks of frustration I have mastered Lil Wayne's verse of Jay Sean's "Down." A small feat for some, but quite an accomplishment for me. Now I have to brainstorm some killer stage names....

They Had Prego at Plymouth Right?

Happy Thanksgiving!

I had an unconventional but great holiday. I got up early, around 11:50am & met Jana for Starbucks. It was pretty rough melting in the 80 degree heat, so we enjoyed our FREE (it totally pays to have such a smokin' hot best friend) drinks in the shade.

I went for a little jog in the afternoon. I've been inspired to become Lindsay Lohan crack whore skinny. While I would like to achieve that by abstaining from exercise & sticking to a strictly fried food diet I am hearing that may not be the ticket. Because I have negative will power I am starting with exercise, giving up french fries may not be worth wearing a size small!

Jana had to work so I scooted to a matinee of the movie Precious. I paid $11 to cry for 2 hours. I literally bawled through the entire movie. We are talking lip quivering, runny nose, chest heaving sobbing. It was a phenomenal film that everyone should see. One of those "and I thought i had problems" kind of flicks.

I came home & fixed Spaghetti just like the pilgrims. Then I made a yellow cake strictly so I could lick the bowl. So much for being crack whore skinny....

I was on call to work but wasn't used...again. I had a few wonderful heart felt invitations for dinner but felt funny about turkey crashing. Over the last couple of years I have gotten used to being on my own. Being lonely & depressed has become my tradition. And you don't monkey with tradition!

It is unfortunate that only one day a year is dedicated to giving thanks. Most of us spend the other 364 days complaining, griping, bitching, & moaning. I thought a lot today about my blessings & am going to strive to make every day Thanksgiving, or at least every other day ;)

The Bitch is Back

So I have abandoned Blogville, but for the best of reasons. I have been busy! Not working of course, I don't have time for that. I actually haven't worked since I was "man down" on November 8th. I had a week off & spent the majority of that time in Seattle. I stayed at my old apartment with Sarah, I still feel right at home on State Street. It really hit me when I called to order a Pagliachi's pizza & they said "is this the Vaughn residence?" I was like "hell yes it is!". Nice to know they haven't forgotten me.

I was long overdue for catching up with some of my favorite people. My adopted families made some time for me, & it was most definitely well spent. The main Seattle event was Pammy Sue's Bachelorette party. The Tri Delta 2002 pledge class has still got it! We tore up the town in honor of the most deserving woman. She has found her prince charming & they are writing their very own fairy tale.

I came home & spent a few days recovering. I was back on call but didn't work, November is really slow which I am trying to enjoy since December will be crazy I am sure. My most treasured friend Sarah & her southern gentleman spent the weekend in Palm Desert, so I crashed the party. We sun bathed, shopped, ate, & of course drank. We were the youngest by about well---A LOT of years, so we were a big hit. My biggest admirer's name was Robbie who said he'd have his wife murdered so we could be together. Sadly that is the most romantic proposal I have had lately.

At 25 I feel a bit like I am falling apart. My grandpa kindly pointed out that that didn't happen for him til he was 80. With my lifestyle choices it doesn't shock me that my body is failing so soon! My back has been killing me since my fall. I finally went to the doctor today who diagnosed me with Back Spasm. She gave me some good drugs which I may have to sell in order to pay for my ER visit. She also ordered Physical Therapy. Marco thinks he should treat me, I think we should leave our physical relationship in the past! Just for kicks my body decided to give me an ear infection, perhaps to distract me from my back pain.

Couldn't let my ailments stand in the way of my adventures. Jana & I hiked to the Hollywood sign this afternoon. I'd consider it a success, since I didn't die. To be honest I was pretty tired just from the drive from Redondo to Hollywood! The first 15 minutes were the worst, I was certain my heart was going to explode. I kept being like "let's take a picture" looking for any excuse to stop for 2 seconds. Embarrassing. Ya think it's time to get back in shape kids?

My liver wrote me a hate letter demanding a break from boozin. There have been so many events & things to celebrate lately so it has been a challenge. Like just last week, it was Monday, hello!? How can you just ignore Monday without a night out. Ugh. Don't fret, it is not time to call Dr. Drew just yet.

Time for bed, my muscle relaxer is kicking in & I want to be tucked in before I see the couch float across the living room.

I found out that people actually read this, so I will be better about updating!

peace & love.

Head Trauma Drama

I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later--I had my first onboard medical emergency. I missed all the drama however because the emergency was ME!

I was working the redeye from Maui to Denver after a fabulous 34 hour layover. I was chit chatting with some senior mama's in the first class galley when I suddenly felt really ill. I became dizzy & my vision went black. What they tell me is that I fell & hit my head on the door on the way down, then apparently suffered a mild seizure. When I came to they were administering Oxygen & a doctor was checking me out. The first class cabin got quite a show! I was only out for a couple of minutes but my crew was absolutely amazing. They worked so quickly calling for help & getting all of the emergency equipment prepared. The Purser joked he was disappointed he didn't get to use the AED--I think he just wanted to tear my dress open ;)

For the rest of the flight I was positively miserable, I vomited 6 times-a personal record. I thought throwing up out a cab window was awful, nothing is worse than an airplane bathroom. The sweet lil Doc looking after me kept trying to rehydrate me with fluids but I just couldn't keep anything down. I had one more helping of Oxygen & an icepack on my head when not 1 but 2 passengers asked me for some ridiculous something! Never has there been a more appropriate WTF moment. As a precaution a paramedic met the flight in Denver, mind you I was mortified. I don't mind attention in any instance but this one-I felt so embarrassed & silly. They wanted to take me to the hospital there but it was my choice & I wanted nothing more than to be home. I dead headed home to LA promising that I'd get checked out first thing when I landed.

Nurse Cassie found me an ER to visit which I did at her urging. I was issued the standard gown which does even less for me than the polyester potato sack & of course I had a cute young McDoctor. I was doing my best to be coy & cute after profusely yakking all night, no easy task. I wanted to be his favorite head trauma patient of the day. I must have been working that gown because before I was released he gave me his digits reminding me that when I left I was technically no longer his patient. Long (4 hr!) story short they did an EKG & CT, both came back normal. They kept me just to rehydrate me & socialize I think, I was definitely the hit the the ER. I gave Steve relationship advice, told Amy how impressed I was for working full time & going to school, told Mike I'd definitely see him at Gasser's in Redondo, & congratulated Trav on the new baby.

McDreamy came over for wine at the apartment even though his instructions were rest & plenty of water. I was excited for his arrival even though I was utterly exhausted. Turns out he was McDreamier in his scrubs. He is kind, smart, funny, blah blah. Great on paper, terrible on the lips. He kissed me goodnight & I just kept thinking "why is his mouth so mad at my mouth?" My lips are considering filing charges for the assault. He was the worst ever, I had to fight from laughing when he complimented my phenomenal kissing skills. Next!

This day has felt like 3. I have been up for 35 hrs! 2:30am, time to get that rest McSucky ordered.....

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah

Jana and I had a day date at Disneyland today. I think it is safe to say that we were the only 25 year old duo, but we had loads of fun in addition to our corn dogs & Mickey shaped ice cream! My face hurts from laughing and my ears hurt from Jana's screams on Space Mountain. The trip got my heavy heart bouncing, just what the doctor ordered. I want to move to Main Street and work for Mr. Mouse. I think I was born for the role!

I felt the Tom Vaughn effect however--all of the children were a bit overwhelming. I have a great idea for a horror flick. Instead of the world being taken over by aliens, terrorists, monsters, or machinery--STROLLERS! Keep that idea under your hats, thinking of shopping it around Hollywood.