After working a 4 day trip I dead headed home from Vegas yesterday. With 51 minutes to kill I flipped through the pages of the latest Sky Mall catalog. A few of the highlights included the Stainless Steel wallet, the Nano-UV Disinfection Scanner, & the Canine Genealogy Kit. But by far & away my favorite item was the Litter Kwitter.
The Litter Kwitter is the original, award winning 3-step cat toilet training system. The photo of a feline squatting on the seat had me choking on my mixed nuts. I was left so curious as to what the 3 steps were. And beyond that why the hell anyone would want to share a toilet with their pet? I don't want to share my bathroom with a boy, why on earth would I have any interest in competing for lav time with a kitty? If you are in need of a good laugh I highly recommend visiting the website which provides not only further details of the system but inspirational videos.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Fly Girls
There is a new show on the CW called Fly Girls. It is a "reality show" profiling Virgin America flight attendants. I was able to stomach it for a good 2 1/2 minutes before I had to abort the mission & retreat. When the crashpad resembled the Real World house I knew "reality" was being severely distorted. You may remember I slept on a bunk bed & shared my room with a mouse in NYC.
The network is playing the wrong angle, here they are painting a picture of glamour & excitement, how amusing is that? Let's expose the real shit! The helpless passengers, the Bitter Betty Senior Mamas, the inappropriate pilots, the Kansas City layovers. That is where the real entertainment lies people!
Don't get me wrong I loooooove my job, but waking up in Detroit at 5:00am this morning didn't feel so enchanting.
This story however makes the early mornings & long days worth it. I was working the Purser position & less than thrilled to be doing so. I had a lovely but very high maintenance family in the first class cabin. I was taking good care of them. One of the boys had a terrible sinus headache & I was playing nurse, I was chatting up the little girl, & gave the other boy my extra chocolate chip cookies. And of course I kept mom & dad all liquored up. I took care of them the way I would any other passenger. At the end of the flight the dad slipped something into my hand telling me what a great job I did & how much I deserved it. I assumed it was a "Going the Extra Mile" certificate, this little gold star type note that customers often fill in when they have exceptional service. I thanked him, slipped it in my pocket & said my goodbyes to the family. It wasn't until later that I dug my hand in my pocket only to discover a $100 bill. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??? The money was such a blessing of course, but the fact that my TLC was recognized & appreciated meant the world to me.
The network is playing the wrong angle, here they are painting a picture of glamour & excitement, how amusing is that? Let's expose the real shit! The helpless passengers, the Bitter Betty Senior Mamas, the inappropriate pilots, the Kansas City layovers. That is where the real entertainment lies people!
Don't get me wrong I loooooove my job, but waking up in Detroit at 5:00am this morning didn't feel so enchanting.
This story however makes the early mornings & long days worth it. I was working the Purser position & less than thrilled to be doing so. I had a lovely but very high maintenance family in the first class cabin. I was taking good care of them. One of the boys had a terrible sinus headache & I was playing nurse, I was chatting up the little girl, & gave the other boy my extra chocolate chip cookies. And of course I kept mom & dad all liquored up. I took care of them the way I would any other passenger. At the end of the flight the dad slipped something into my hand telling me what a great job I did & how much I deserved it. I assumed it was a "Going the Extra Mile" certificate, this little gold star type note that customers often fill in when they have exceptional service. I thanked him, slipped it in my pocket & said my goodbyes to the family. It wasn't until later that I dug my hand in my pocket only to discover a $100 bill. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??? The money was such a blessing of course, but the fact that my TLC was recognized & appreciated meant the world to me.
12 Strikes You're Out
I met a devastatingly handsome man on a flight today. His name is Marco, strike one. He is 40 years old, strike two. He is a pilot, strike three. He has two children, strikes 4 & 5 (he gets additional strikes because he is smokin hot!!). Why I am attracted to these types of men? My head is more interested in men who are new or gently used. But my heart insists on these recycled & tortured characters. I wonder what Dr. Drew would have to say about this.....
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Blue Jean Babies
A snapshot from 2010's Open to Close at the Magnolia Village Pub in Seattle. The Delta Delta Delta 2002 pledge class proved we still got it baby. It only took me one week to recover. I am hoping that Nicole won't plan another 14 hr day of drinking for at least a few years. I had the time of my life boozing, laughing, dancing, & yes karaoking with my favorite females. Here's to US!!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Pump Up the Jam
I joined the gym a week ago & missed only one day when I was working. Pause for applause. Thank you. I even started to not completely dread going, major progress considering in the past I'd have chosen flossing with my toe nails over breaking a sweat. The gym has quickly climbed the charts as my favorite people watching destination. There is one quirky character who only works out in a cut off tube top with no bra. Her nipples could high five her knees but she doesn't let that deter her from rocking the look. The typical South Bay douche bag exercise outfit consists of board shorts & a TapouT tshirt. Not sexy.
Thank goodness I make such awesome mixed tapes. There are rows of tv's but CNN & ESPN don't really motivate me. Who do I have to sleep with to get Bravo on the big screen? I have made some mean compilations, you'd be amazed how a variety of Pink, T.I., Beyonce, Color Me Badd, & a few Jock Jams hits can get the blood pumping. I will be back to my driver license weight in no time! I am feeling better, looking better, & sleeping like Tom Vaughn in a recliner. All good things.
Thank goodness I make such awesome mixed tapes. There are rows of tv's but CNN & ESPN don't really motivate me. Who do I have to sleep with to get Bravo on the big screen? I have made some mean compilations, you'd be amazed how a variety of Pink, T.I., Beyonce, Color Me Badd, & a few Jock Jams hits can get the blood pumping. I will be back to my driver license weight in no time! I am feeling better, looking better, & sleeping like Tom Vaughn in a recliner. All good things.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Saturday Night Fever
Break out your parka's kids, hell has frozen over, I joined a gym. I have been avoiding doing so for some time for a number of reasons. The first being of course that I hate working out. I have also been using money as an excuse, arguing that I can't afford it. But the truth tapped me on the shoulder & pointed out that as long as I can afford In-N-Out, I can afford the gym. The sign is a bit misleading- it reads "24 Fitness" while it should read "Meat Market." So far the gym has not been good for my self esteem. I feel like a Cabbage Patch Kid working up a sweat along side a slew of Malibu Barbie dolls.
Every time I have gone, the place has been packed. Every day but today, Saturday. Actually I went tonight. This was more the Freaks & Geeks crowd, the GTL crew works out earlier I suppose. Anyway I fit right in & even felt like the hottest broad in the joint.
Stay tuned for my progress. Vacationing for an entire month really did a number on my waist line. Let's be clear, this new found commitment to working out has nothing to do with my health & everything to do with my vanity.
Every time I have gone, the place has been packed. Every day but today, Saturday. Actually I went tonight. This was more the Freaks & Geeks crowd, the GTL crew works out earlier I suppose. Anyway I fit right in & even felt like the hottest broad in the joint.
Stay tuned for my progress. Vacationing for an entire month really did a number on my waist line. Let's be clear, this new found commitment to working out has nothing to do with my health & everything to do with my vanity.
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