Dr. Feelgood

So this pain in my back is becoming a real pain in my ass. I am learning to live with it, although I'd rather not. I have seen "Dr." Nick a few times. Mind you by Doctor, I mean Chiropractor. It seems we are pretty quick to dispense the term physician these days. I know some people swear by Chiropractic treatment but I remain skeptical. I categorize Chiro's as I do Mormons & people who sell Amway, nice enough people, just...mislead.

Dr. Nick ordered an MRI & X-rays before he'd treat me. During the evaluation he came up with a laundry list of things wrong with my back & neck. I just noticed how thin I looked in the X-ray, fabulous. He claims that I have 2 slipped disks. Not sure whether I believe him or whether he just wants to keep seeing me & my insurance card. He did ask me out while adjusting me, which was uncomfortable not to mention scary. I remember thinking "he's holding my head in his hands, maybe he'll just break my neck if I say no." Instead of saying no, I opted for the awkward transition.

I had an appointment with the physical therapist at the same facility. But I thought she was a pretty sizable bitch so at this point I am holding out for a miracle & better pills.

A Merry Little Christmas

Yay--Christmas is over, onto dreading New Year's Eve!

I had a positively lovely holiday. I returned home from an amazing Sydney trip Christmas Eve morning. Jana took me to our favorite restaurant in Santa Monica for a special meal that night. Following our feast I invited some new Aussie friends to join us for cocktails. I sat at the table thinking this is what Christmas is all about, boozing with strangers. Ok, maybe not-but this year it worked! While others were tearing open gifts the morning of the 25th I was sleeping. I didn't even stir until 2pm, an 18 hr time change & 14 hr flight will do that to you. When Jana got home from work we celebrated the birth of Christ with pepperoni pizza & a movie date. Glorious!

So Santa didn't bring me anything on my list, but he did deliver a hot Aussie to makeout with- which I didn't even think to ask for. So Mr. Claus, props.

Huge, Quickly

It is my sincere wish that everyone stop talking about Tiger Woods & start focusing on more important things, like the Jersey Shore on MTV. Now these are people worth discussing. Their behavior may be questionable, but it is honest. They aren't hiding their "transgressions", just the opposite in fact. Proudly they are pounding their protein, poofing their hair, & fist pumpin' like champs. If you haven't done so yet, tune in immediately. You gotta do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Alright. Bye.

The Big Cheese

The holidays are officially in full swing. Of course in LA there is no snow or cold to indicate the arrival of the season, but I teared up at a Folgers Christmas commercial & it hit me like a ton of bricks. For a single person, well for this single person it is an awful time of year. For some reason I feel 10 times more alone. I blame the music primarily. All the songs are something like "all i want for Christmas is you, please come home or I'll get run over by a reindeer." Why doesn't Kelly Clarkson release a holiday album? Something like "Independent Christmas." Until that drops, I think I will stick to the Chipmunks singing about planes that loop the loop & hula hoops.

Noel & I enjoyed a lovely dinner at the Olive Garden this evening. Some might consider me a high maintenance patron but our waiter Mike understood me. He broke policy by leaving the cheese grater on the table, it's like he could see my Romano hungry soul. Personally I think his arm was tired & he had other tables to tend to, but still the grater was mine for the meal. At the end of dinner, Mike wrapped up the grater in a bread bag with a wink. Delighted I slipped it in my purse. I really have earned it after all these years I think. In fact it is a mystery as to why I don't have a plaque on the wall, & a personal parking space.

Ambien is kicking in, when that happens I am like Frank the Tank from Old School when he gets the tranquilizer dart in his neck. Not cute--night lambs. Big love.

Victory--Indefinitely, Not Probably

Finally!

After weeks of frustration I have mastered Lil Wayne's verse of Jay Sean's "Down." A small feat for some, but quite an accomplishment for me. Now I have to brainstorm some killer stage names....

They Had Prego at Plymouth Right?

Happy Thanksgiving!

I had an unconventional but great holiday. I got up early, around 11:50am & met Jana for Starbucks. It was pretty rough melting in the 80 degree heat, so we enjoyed our FREE (it totally pays to have such a smokin' hot best friend) drinks in the shade.

I went for a little jog in the afternoon. I've been inspired to become Lindsay Lohan crack whore skinny. While I would like to achieve that by abstaining from exercise & sticking to a strictly fried food diet I am hearing that may not be the ticket. Because I have negative will power I am starting with exercise, giving up french fries may not be worth wearing a size small!

Jana had to work so I scooted to a matinee of the movie Precious. I paid $11 to cry for 2 hours. I literally bawled through the entire movie. We are talking lip quivering, runny nose, chest heaving sobbing. It was a phenomenal film that everyone should see. One of those "and I thought i had problems" kind of flicks.

I came home & fixed Spaghetti just like the pilgrims. Then I made a yellow cake strictly so I could lick the bowl. So much for being crack whore skinny....

I was on call to work but wasn't used...again. I had a few wonderful heart felt invitations for dinner but felt funny about turkey crashing. Over the last couple of years I have gotten used to being on my own. Being lonely & depressed has become my tradition. And you don't monkey with tradition!

It is unfortunate that only one day a year is dedicated to giving thanks. Most of us spend the other 364 days complaining, griping, bitching, & moaning. I thought a lot today about my blessings & am going to strive to make every day Thanksgiving, or at least every other day ;)

The Bitch is Back

So I have abandoned Blogville, but for the best of reasons. I have been busy! Not working of course, I don't have time for that. I actually haven't worked since I was "man down" on November 8th. I had a week off & spent the majority of that time in Seattle. I stayed at my old apartment with Sarah, I still feel right at home on State Street. It really hit me when I called to order a Pagliachi's pizza & they said "is this the Vaughn residence?" I was like "hell yes it is!". Nice to know they haven't forgotten me.

I was long overdue for catching up with some of my favorite people. My adopted families made some time for me, & it was most definitely well spent. The main Seattle event was Pammy Sue's Bachelorette party. The Tri Delta 2002 pledge class has still got it! We tore up the town in honor of the most deserving woman. She has found her prince charming & they are writing their very own fairy tale.

I came home & spent a few days recovering. I was back on call but didn't work, November is really slow which I am trying to enjoy since December will be crazy I am sure. My most treasured friend Sarah & her southern gentleman spent the weekend in Palm Desert, so I crashed the party. We sun bathed, shopped, ate, & of course drank. We were the youngest by about well---A LOT of years, so we were a big hit. My biggest admirer's name was Robbie who said he'd have his wife murdered so we could be together. Sadly that is the most romantic proposal I have had lately.

At 25 I feel a bit like I am falling apart. My grandpa kindly pointed out that that didn't happen for him til he was 80. With my lifestyle choices it doesn't shock me that my body is failing so soon! My back has been killing me since my fall. I finally went to the doctor today who diagnosed me with Back Spasm. She gave me some good drugs which I may have to sell in order to pay for my ER visit. She also ordered Physical Therapy. Marco thinks he should treat me, I think we should leave our physical relationship in the past! Just for kicks my body decided to give me an ear infection, perhaps to distract me from my back pain.

Couldn't let my ailments stand in the way of my adventures. Jana & I hiked to the Hollywood sign this afternoon. I'd consider it a success, since I didn't die. To be honest I was pretty tired just from the drive from Redondo to Hollywood! The first 15 minutes were the worst, I was certain my heart was going to explode. I kept being like "let's take a picture" looking for any excuse to stop for 2 seconds. Embarrassing. Ya think it's time to get back in shape kids?

My liver wrote me a hate letter demanding a break from boozin. There have been so many events & things to celebrate lately so it has been a challenge. Like just last week, it was Monday, hello!? How can you just ignore Monday without a night out. Ugh. Don't fret, it is not time to call Dr. Drew just yet.

Time for bed, my muscle relaxer is kicking in & I want to be tucked in before I see the couch float across the living room.

I found out that people actually read this, so I will be better about updating!

peace & love.