Mahalo Kauai, Aloha Vegas!

Just another Tuesday at the office...in Kauai. I sacrificed sleep for Hawaiian sun & it was worth it baby! I did pay for it working the all nighter home however. In a desperate attempt to gain wings I pounded two Red Bulls back to back on an empty stomach. This proved not to be my brightest of ideas. Instead of acquiring energy, I lost the last bit I had yakking in the lavatory that at this point smelled like a stable. Woooooof! I think it's safe to say I won't be drinking any Vodka Red Bulls in Vegas this weekend! Speaking of, please keep Vegas in your thoughts. A modest 18 of us will be on the loose & you better believe we are ready to let the dogs out...

Where Art Thou Words?

Why is that when you are having an intense, important conversation with someone the words you'd like to use go on vacation? I had a talk this afternoon which was about as much fun as a trip to the gyno. I'd prepared a killer speech, but as soon as I saw him the words that I could find were shaky & unsure. Of course as soon as I left I had my Celine Dion moment and it all came back to me. FML.

We Ain't Hurtin Nobody, We Just Like to Party...

Last weekend was spent terrorizing Portland in celebration of sweet Jenny's birth. She has been on the planet for 26 years so naturally we pub crawled, Snuggie style. We definitely looked like cult members but we were warm & we were a hit. The best part was coming home & already being in makeshift pajamas. Vegas is next weekend, unfortunately our Snuggies don't meet the dress code.

Side Effects May Include...

My love affair with Ambien is no secret. The relationship has flourished as I have paid it some real TLC since I started my flying career. While we are very happy together there are some minor negative behavioral side effects that I feel should be listed on the label. Personally a few of these side effects include texting/calling inappropriate people, deleting facebook friends, & most notably not remembering the aforementioned actions. If only I could enjoy the sleep inducing hallucinogen without making poor technology related decisions. If only....

The Best, Best Friend Getaway

Some sweet sunshine is just what the doctor forgot to order. Good thing I thought of it. Jana & I had a wonderful time in Palm Desert. We laid in the sun, sipped on cocktails, & seriously mowed down some innocent pizza. We talked about life, love, loss & came to the realization that we came to no realizations! Guess we have to rest of our lives to work on workin it out.

Life is Short, Have an Affair

My schedule often compares to that of a vampire's. Night time is the right time as far as I am concerned. Night time is also when you see the best worst commercials. Like the wannabe Price is Right model in jean shorts & a halter top begging you to call & talk dirty to her. But tonight was a first. I saw a soft core porn scene advertising a website called AshleyMadison.com. Their tag line is "Life is short, have an affair." It is essentially a Match.com for disgusting, piggish, selfish married people who just want to bone down with someone other than their spouse. Ashley Madison's parents must be so proud.

Need the D

I have risen from my death bed, turns out I wasn't actually dying, I was just on deck. My recovery is slow but steady. In honor of me feeling half human Jana & I are Palm Desert bound tomorrow for some fun in the sun. I am in serious need of some Vitamin D after being trapped in the apartment for the last week. I look like Powder with hair. Not. Cute.