3 Days, 2700 Miles, 1 Raccoon and Countless Cheetos

3 days, 2700 miles, 1 raccoon, and countless Flaming Hot Cheetos later I have arrived safely in Virginia. Barry graciously offered to serve as Captain of the cross country adventure and I humbly served as first officer. My responsibilities included routing rest stops, telling Barry to slow down, speed up, stop texting, and requesting meals. You better believe I found an Olive Garden in Toledo, Ohio. Booyah!

A quick roadkill rant. We saw sooo many animals on our journey both alive, and not so much. One question, what the F are they doing hosting social hour along I-90? I mean hasn't word traveled that it's the place to be killed, and not to kill time? You think some little Bambi would tell his sob story to the rest of the animal kingdom and put a little stop in their step, but no. All the roadkill really broke my heart. But then becoming the roadkiller and murdering that little midnight bandit, I am all torn up. Mr. Raccoon, I am so sorry. But I think we can agree, this was your fault. RIP.

The last week has been just a whirlwind. There are a million and one things to get done before I can really let my breath out and hair down. For someone who considers a productive day plowing through the DVR, I am left utterly exhausted. In order to get my required visas for China and Russia I had to renew my passport. I was thrilled at the idea of getting a new one because my last photo is so shameful. I spent a little extra qt with the blow dryer the other morning in preparation for my CVS passport photo shoot. My glamour shot balloon was brutally burst however when I was told I couldn't smile and my hair had to be behind my ears. Do you know how much time I spend making sure my hair is in front of my ears? So, not my best feature. My smile however TOTES is, but apparently immigration could care less. After multiple attempts my photo came out looking like a mug shot; and not a saucy Lohan one, we are talking tranny hooker mug shot. You win some, you lose some....

With A Little Help From My Friends

Well, my time in Seattle is winding down. I know this only because of the small amount of calendar days left before I leave and not at all due to my preparedness for departure. 10 days, guess I should start packing. But wait, New Jersey Housewives are on...maybe tomorrow.

I have had an amazing September. Birthday number 27 was truly exceptional. Flowers, balloons, gifts, cards-the love came from all over the country and I was truly humbled. After receiving $200 in Olive Garden gift cards I decided I need a new reputation. It might be nice to be known for a love of fitness, or philanthropy as opposed to cheese ravioli in marinara sauce and salad with no veggies, but extra croutons and dressing. Hmmm, that sounds good. Maybe my rep isn't so bad....

I have been doing my best to make my time left with my dear friends count. But I realized it has always counted and it has always been special. I will miss these women so so much. They are the salt to my french fries, the pepperoni to my pizza, the vodka to my soda. And it is these deep rooted friendships that give me the courage to make these crazy moves. No matter where I go, no matter how far, for how long they are cheering me on from home base. Not sure what I have done to deserve them, but I hope I keep it up.

Say Hello, Wave Goodbye

After reading my last post, I am making the executive decision to cut myself off from Ambien cocktails and blogging. Not the prescription drug use and red wine consumption of course, only the dangerous writing element. I came off sounding like Debbie Downer's sister, Suicidal Susie.

Been busy living life as of late, instead of writing about it. Work has picked up this summer, which is great in theory but in reality is royally annoying. I have been waiting for the mythical Seattle summer for months, it is sort of here and I am missing out! I have been on an exhilarating domestic tour including exotic Tampa, Denver, Chicago, etc. That is about to change however because I have accepted a transfer to Washington D.C. While I am sure I will still get my share of Wichita lay overs, I will also be traveling to places including but not limited to Ghana, Moscow, Frankfurt, Dubai, Beijing, Rome, and I cannot wait. The time has come for me to see the world.

I will leave Seattle next month with mixed emotions, just as I left New York, and Los Angeles. Saying goodbye to my wonderful friends will be the most brutal part. They are sending me off with love and support, and with them I am leaving behind a piece of my little black heart. Thank sweet baby Jesus I fly for free. Surely I will miss them too much not to visit often. Otherwise Seattle can suck it!

To new beginnings, again.......

Nobody's Girl

As of late I have felt rather lonely. Being in Seattle has been a tremendous blessing because my nearest and dearest friends are here. It has also been a bit of a curse because my nearest and dearest are all married, engaged, or in love which leaves me feeling left out and so alone.

People often advise me to create a list of what I am looking for in a man. It is no surprise that when I sit down to write this list, these are the things that come to my musical mind....

I want a man who gives me a kiss to build a dream on.

I want a man who sees my diamonds on the inside.

I want a man who will make me banana pancakes.

I want a man who thinks I am some kind of wonderful.

I want a man that wants to hold my hand.

I want a man who swears I am a pretty woman.

I want a man who wipes away the tracks of my tears.

I want a man who says you look wonderful tonight, every night.

I want a man to share a Sunday kind of love with.

I choose to remain hopeful, you never know, he may just be a 100 tears away......

iSuck

RIP Blackberry. After a long committed relationship I had to dump the Curve and upgrade to the iPhone. It has been an uneasy transition partly because I am behind the times in a big way. To say I am not a tech savvy person is putting it mildly. I have been in my apartment for 8 months and my DVD player has yet to be hooked up. After uploading music to my first iPod I held it up to my ear and swore it didn't work, cue the head phones. My grandparents had to explain to me how to use the Wii. Fortunately the iPhone is quite user friendly. Perhaps too user friendly. People have been telling me left and right about all these apps to download. Cassie downloaded the Sex Offender app which I had to consequently hurriedly delete. I'd rather not know exactly how many sex offenders are in a 3 mile radius of where I rest my head at night, I enjoy sleeping soundly.

I must admit though I am enjoying the phone. My biggest concern at this point is damaging my new buddy. They do not make baby bjorns yet for the iPhone so it is up to me. Care for the phone includes but is not limited to not leaving it in my lap and dropping it on the ground when I get out of the car, keeping it in my back pocket and losing it in the toilet, spilling a drink on it, giving it to a baby who considers it a teething ring, etc. Oh the responsibility!!

My Guy

I often times feel like the oldest babysitter on the planet. I feel that I should be doing something else with my free time. I feel like these are not my children why am I dealing with this crap...literally. But then there are these moments. Moments that are so special, so sweet and so heart warming that not even words can describe. Thank you iPhone.

Back in the Saddle

After a few weeks of successfully sustaining positive eating habits, I have fallen off the wagon. Actually I jumped off the wagon into a tub of Zip's fries. I journeyed to Spokane last week and the temptation proved too strong for this weak fast food loving heart to resist. As much as I look forward to spending time with my little nugget nephew and darling grandparents, I also cherish moments spent with pepperoni slices from Pipeline and mini corn dogs at Zip's. This fact makes me shameful and a candidate for Oprah Winfrey Network's "Addicted to Food." Here is another fact, it was so worth it. I am home in Seattle and have turned back into a pumpkin. Spring Break 2011 commences Wednesday, so no eating anything sinful til then!