Step Down

Continuing our tour of embarrassment at 24 Hour Fitness Casey and I took a Zumba class. Zumba is described as a "Latin-inspired, calorie-burning dance fitness party." Me attempting to participate in Zumba can be described as a "nightmare-inspired, leg tangling dance dis-fitness disaster." I thought it would be a breeze because I bust mad moves. At Zumba I just bust. Look for me in the next dance blockbuster Step Down.

Kicked & Spun

My new boyfriend Gym & I have been seeing each other for a few weeks now, & I have to say it is getting serious. I have worked out with my trainer Stephanie twice. We have a deal where I make her laugh for an hour & she kicks my ass. Oh, I also pay her. Feeling a bit more comfortable I decided it was time to give classes a shot. My good friend Casey also joined, & is already proving to be a wonderful workout buddy. Last night we attended our first Kick Boxing class. The 90 pound instructor started by explaining that this routine involved highly intensive choreography. I peed a little in my pants, flashing back to cheer leading tryouts freshman year where I couldn't master even those infantile steps. I basically flailed about in the back hoping not to be not to be noticed or go into cardiac arrest. Due to the wall to wall mirrors I couldn't avoid how ridiculous I looked. I breathed a sigh of relief that I'm not starring in a reality show. That's a scene I'd never live down.

This morning we went to a 5:30am Spin class. Pause for reaction. Spin makes my finger nails sweat & I love it. After my second class I have conquered my fear of being the only participant to fly over the handle bars on a stationary bike.

I haven't weighed myself yet. But I am no longer frightened at the sight when I step out of the shower. That my friends, is what we call "progress."

Gym. Tan. Bravo.

In an effort to lift my sagging Seattle spirits I have joined a gym. Rumor has it that working out releases endorphins which make you happy blah, blah, blah. Additionally, I unlike Sir Mix-A- Lot do not like big butts, particularly the one that has been following me around the last few months. When I signed up I was offered a complimentary one hour workout with a trainer. Richard Simmons wasn't available so I settled for a girl named Stephanie. There are all kinds of sexy male trainers, but I'd rather talk to them about well anything other than my "problem areas." I have been enjoying my workouts on my own but am hoping Stephanie will teach this fat dog some skinny tricks.

I have also embarrassingly enough resorted to tanning. I thought these crazy Jersey Shore characters are making mad money, perhaps they are on to something with this GTL business. Light therapy seemed like it would co-inside perfectly with my new gym routine.

As I previously blogged I have a severe fear of the laundry room, so I have catered the Jersey Shore schedule to suit my needs. I need Bravo. Bravo is chicken soup for the reality soul, it just lights up my life. There is not a housewives series I won't watch. Bring on Fargo, Kansas City, Yakima. I will watch them all, after the gym and tanning of course!

No One Likes Doing Laundry....

I like it the least! Not even because it costs $4.00 a load but because I am terrified of the laundry room in my building. I fear it like Kevin McCallister fears his basement. It looks like a storage room for dead people and smells like a storage room for clean dead people. The only logical thing to do is buy more underwear. Oh, and if I go missing tell the police to check the laundry room first.