Two weeks into Match, two weeks to go. I signed up for just one month so soon enough I will only be wasting time on Facebook. Although I think I can say with confidence that my search for love is over. There is a studly 65 year old pursuing me who described himself as "mature" and seeking a long term relationship (I think short term is more realistic considering his age but whatevevs). Anyway the best news is he is willing to have more children.
I can gather a lot of information just from one's photos. I am not sure if that makes me judgemental or a character expert. But here are some tips-I will not be responding if you are wearing an Affliction tshirt; have only pictures of your dog; or your photos are of photos from the 90's. Just sayin'.
I am finding that online dating could be a full time job. I barely work and see it a challenge to keep up. One of the most difficult tasks is to remember where you are in a conversation with someone. I think my days of Ambien popping have caught up with me seriously impaired my memory. That reminds me! I went out with a pharmacist who told me that Ambien is the absolute last thing he'd ever take. He said that it causes "psychosis." For those of you that weren't psych majors psychosis is described as an abnormal mental state involving a loss of contact with reality. I smiled and nodded not wanting him to know "duh!", that is why I take it and chase it with red wine.
One guy I went out with text me saying how much he liked me but that I should know he's just looking for "fwb". I am so naive I had to ask to the room aloud what that was. Ah, yes. Friends with benefits my room mates explained (the kids all speak in acronyms now, it is so confusing). I didn't respond until the next day when he invited me over for a movie. I told him he was a good looking guy who should have no trouble meeting a girl who'd be happy to fall over with her legs in the air. He retracted his "fwb" comment, claiming he just wanted to hang out. I countered saying that inviting a girl over for a movie has meant the same thing since high school and good luck. I was prude then and I pretend to be prude now. So much for chivalry and romance.
I wonder if Bonnie Tyler ever found that hero she was holding out for....
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Must Love Duds
Break out the ice skates kids, hell has frozen over. After a bottle of Shiraz and years of contemplation I joined Match.com last week.
I have to start by saying the promise of matching people based on compatibility is hilarious. For example, my match of the day says "Like you, he's a non-smoker. Like you, he enjoys dining out. Like you, he loves dogs." I am not in a rush to pick out a wedding dress based on these ground breaking things in common.
I have received some of the most bizarre emails from the strangest of suitors. I feel bad not responding to these duds, but word on the online street is that is protocol if not interested. I feel like I should send out some formal rejection response, something along the lines of "thank you for your interest. Your application has been reviewed, unfortunately...." Not to imply that I am all that and a side of fries because there have been a few studs I have been interested in and been www.rejected/...
I had my first date and wasn't murdered so I considered it a success. I found the most terrifying part correctly identifying him in a crowded bar. My biggest fear was to approach a single guy and ask "are you so and so?" only to have his girlfriend return from the rest room. I found my date on the first try though and our drink lasted 3 hours. You would assume a 3 hour date would be a home run, but to be honest my attraction was stronger to the Ketel One I was drinking. He lost me when he mentioned what tanning salon he went to.
I had another date who was a total prince charming but something was missing. I seem to prefer my men in the frog stage. I have been waiting for my leading man to find me in perfect lighting with a killer soundtrack. Beginning to think life may be a foreign drama and not a romantic comedy however!
Not giving up on trolling for men online just yet. If nothing else it is just good for me to get out of the house and meet new people. Last week when I was leaving my room mate asked me what the occasion was because I had jeans on. Not. good.
I have to start by saying the promise of matching people based on compatibility is hilarious. For example, my match of the day says "Like you, he's a non-smoker. Like you, he enjoys dining out. Like you, he loves dogs." I am not in a rush to pick out a wedding dress based on these ground breaking things in common.
I have received some of the most bizarre emails from the strangest of suitors. I feel bad not responding to these duds, but word on the online street is that is protocol if not interested. I feel like I should send out some formal rejection response, something along the lines of "thank you for your interest. Your application has been reviewed, unfortunately...." Not to imply that I am all that and a side of fries because there have been a few studs I have been interested in and been www.rejected/...
I had my first date and wasn't murdered so I considered it a success. I found the most terrifying part correctly identifying him in a crowded bar. My biggest fear was to approach a single guy and ask "are you so and so?" only to have his girlfriend return from the rest room. I found my date on the first try though and our drink lasted 3 hours. You would assume a 3 hour date would be a home run, but to be honest my attraction was stronger to the Ketel One I was drinking. He lost me when he mentioned what tanning salon he went to.
I had another date who was a total prince charming but something was missing. I seem to prefer my men in the frog stage. I have been waiting for my leading man to find me in perfect lighting with a killer soundtrack. Beginning to think life may be a foreign drama and not a romantic comedy however!
Not giving up on trolling for men online just yet. If nothing else it is just good for me to get out of the house and meet new people. Last week when I was leaving my room mate asked me what the occasion was because I had jeans on. Not. good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
